2012-04-05 - In a previous article we talked about what to say and do at a Funeral. In this article, let's look at what you don't feel you need to or say. 1. Don't feel that you have to stay. If you make a visit during calling hours there's no reason your stay has to be a lengthy one. 2. Don't be afraid to laugh. Remembering their loved one fondly can mean sharing a funny story or two. Just be mindful of the time and place; if others are sharing, then you may do so too. There is simply no good reason you shouldn't talk about the deceased in a happy, positive tone. 3.Don't feel you have to view the deceased if there is an open casket. Act according to what is comfortable to you. 4. Don't allow your children to be a disturbance. If you feel they might be, then leave them with a sitter. But, if the deceased meant something to them, it's a good idea to invite them to share in the experience. 5. Don't leave your cell phone on. Switch it off before entering the funeral home, or better yet, leave it in the car. All too often, we see people checking their cell phones for messages during the services. 6. Don't neglect to step into the receiving line. Simply say how sorry you are for their loss, offer up your own name and how you knew the deceased. 7. Don't be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake. Everyone does, and you can be sure that an apology may be all that's needed to mend and soothe.

2011-12-19 - Planning a funeral for a loved one is a difficult time for anyone. A lot of work, time and effort goes into the planning process. Also, you want to make sure that it’s a special time of remembrance for your loved one. Have you thought about ways that you can personalize your loved one’s funeral? Once you have thought about what that person meant to others and took into consideration their passions and likes, get together with other family members and come up with a creative way to incorporate these elements into the ceremony. Personalize the visitation, eulogy, music, readings, procession, committal service, the gathering or reception. Each can be personalized in different and many ways. For the visitation, display photos, memorabilia, collections of their work or their achievements for a personalized effect. Choose music that is meaningful to that person, poetry and readings that describe that person’s life, or even have the procession vehicle catered towards their hobbies or interest. Ask people that were closest to that person to give readings, play music or be a pallbearer; however they feel they can contribute. A great way especially to personalize the ceremony is during the speech. This is the time that they can talk about all of their great qualities and passions.

2011-10-17 - Although death is one of the things that are certain in life, most if not all people still find it difficult to deal with it when placed in this situation. Grieving for the death of a loved one is a long process that takes time and acceptance. However, with the help and concern of other people, this process is made a little easier for the people who are in grief. People who attend funerals must be aware of the proper etiquette to be observed during this time and observe the do’s and don’ts. The most common and sincere way of extending your sympathy is to say “I am sorry” to the bereaved for their loss. These three words are enough to convey to the grieving person that you understand the importance of the deceased person in their life and that you share their sadness. These words are enough to show that you sincerely care for the bereaved. More than talking, listening is very important during funerals. Studies show that people who have suffered losses accept their situation quickly with the help of other people who are willing to listen and help them deal with their grief. During this period, the bereaved needs to express his sadness and anger together with the memories of the deceased person. The need to talk is an outlet of letting out all of their feelings about the situation. A person does a lot of help simply by listening. It is best not to push the bereaved to talk about his lost loved one rather this should be a spontaneous thing. You should refer to the deceased person by name, using no other terms. Memories are bound to come up during your conversation with the aggrieved, and no matter how repetitive it might become, just try to be patient in listening. Nonverbal actions are equally important during funerals. A gentle, sincere hug or a shoulder to cry on is what a bereaved person needs to feel to know that he is not alone in his grief. Death brings out the vulnerability of every person hence the simplest touch could be a source of strength for the grieving people. Grieving is normal as it forms part of our complex emotions as human beings. Grief is not something we can simply set aside. During funerals, it is suggested that you ask the bereaved if you can do anything to help them. Even if they do not have anything in mind, it helps a lot on the part of a grieving person to know that he is surrounded by friends that care for his welfare. Support in whatever form will be greatly appreciated by the bereaved and will weigh favorably on their acceptance of their situation. Death is hard to accept but can be made easier by the love extended by people who truly care.

2011-09-06 - Doctors Hospital is partnering with HomeReach Hospice to respond to the need for on-going support for those who lost someone in the last year. "First Steps" will examine the dynamics of grief as well as offering support for one another. As part of "First Steps", there will also be a program entitled "Dealing with Holidays and Special Days". The meetings are free and open to the public and will be held on consecutive Tuesday evenings from 7-9 p.m.; September 27, October 4, 11, 18, and 25. "Dealing with Holidays and Special Days" will be on Tuesday November 1, also at 7 p.m. All meetings will be held at Doctors Hospital. Please call for more information or to register at (614) 566-4509.

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